weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
