I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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