I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
