I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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