Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
