I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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