I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize