Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
