I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
