You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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