I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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