Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
