Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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