so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
