why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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