i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
