He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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