ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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