she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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