The maid of honor just puked.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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