Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize