Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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