I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can I color on your dick again?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
