New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize