i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize