She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
