I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
