i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
