we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
