OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
