Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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