hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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