he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
