oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
