1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
