Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Come share oat with me in your robe
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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