oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You smell like stripper and shame
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize