News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
