Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Who died my cat blue again?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
