You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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