I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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