i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
