So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
