She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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