somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
