New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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