My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
