I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
