meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize