i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
