Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
