oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
