Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
