other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
