I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
