i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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