i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
