I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
