Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
