Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
