Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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