please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize