The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
