you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize